Here's how you do it:
1. Pause to think about what you want. If you're like most moms, your days and nights can whiz by in a whirl, not leaving much time to reflect on anything until it's right up on you. Take just a minute or two right now to check in with yourself around your desires for this Mothers Day. Even if you truly don't have any expectations, best to make sure now than risk a big disconnect with your family on the day of.
2. Let your wishes be known. Do this clearly and in the spirit of helping, without beating around the bush. Sure, it may feel awkward at first to ask to be celebrated. But chances are, your people want to make this day special for you and your guidance will take some of the pressure off of them to be mind-reading party planners.
The key here is to be as specific as possible. If you have a place in mind where you'd really like to go to dinner, tell them the name. Or better yet, text or email it to them so they'll have it in writing for reference. If you want to sleep in and then have breakfast in bed, tell them what time to wake you up and what to bring you. If you'd like a household project done, let them know which one. Even if you want to be surprised, giving some basic guidelines can save you from having to sit through a crowded brunch and noisy movie when what you really wanted was a quiet afternoon somewhere in nature or a fabulous day of pampering.
Just make sure to go about this part with a spirit of helping and teamwork, not with the mindset that you're owed your every wish and dream. Because no matter how hard you work or how much you do or how awesome you are, entitlement = no bueno.
3. Prepare yourself to receive what comes. It's always so much more gratifying to give when the receiver is gracious and welcoming. Don't give them "Oh, you shouldn't have" or "I don't deserve all this." You work hard, Mama! Soak it in and let the love shine on. And, if you're a believer in the "put it out to the universe and the universe will deliver" mindset, you'll see the power of positive thinking.
4. Give thanks. Gratitude is an awesome happiness habit that has all kinds of far-reaching positive impact. In this situation, I'm talking about two separate but important things: (1) reinforcing your loved ones' efforts with praise and thanks, even if they're not all exactly perfect home runs and (2) reflecting on the blessings that motherhood brings to your life. It's easy to get caught up in the craziness of life and focus on its inconveniences and struggles. But intentionally keeping up a practice of gratitude reflection is one of the best gifts you can give to your own spirit as well as the people around you.
If you're balking at all of this planning and participation in your own Mothers Day celebration, I totally get it. It would be so much easier and more romantic if your family paid close attention to your wants and needs and already knew how to give you an excellent Mothers Day. But chances are, they're busy and preoccupied, too. And even if they should be paying attention, it's up to you to decide if you want to hold tight to that principle and set everyone up for potential disappointment or if you'd rather take an empowered and empathic approach and actually get what you want.
My vote goes to being proactive and getting the good stuff. But how you handle it is, of course, ultimately up to you. Whatever you end up choosing, best wishes for the Mothers Day of your dreams.
In the meantime, join in the conversation! Leave a comment below and tell me what you really want for Mothers Day this year.
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